Fear Drives, Love Draws

by SomeGirl on April 4, 2012 · 16 comments

What an exciting week we’ve had at our place!

Over the weekend we added chicks to our family. Six little gals named: Sugar, Nugget, Oreo, Red, Golden (chick), and Brownie.

We’re looking forward to watching them grow and having our own organic, free range eggs in the future. :)

As you can tell from the photos above (a little snippet of life cut out from my instagram feed) we’ve had a wonderful time watching the chicks and introducing them to Scrappy (who, btw, is a very good big brother).


On Monday I hit some kind of wall.

Or to be more precise, as seen in the top left corner picture, I hit the bathroom floor – hiding away from everyone for just a few minutes to get some quiet, alone time.

Tuesday went downhill from there.

And Wednesday took a major nosedive (the reason for no Photography Wednesday post).

Fortunately, I feel the upswing coming… I’m sure it has quite a bit to do with two early nights for the boys, a thorough house straightening, a little Love and Logic, and an air purifier sucking up the pollen that has been torturing us for weeks on end.

Interestingly enough, during this CrAzY time I’ve been reading an extremely appropriate book for my situation: Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman.

I’ve learned that my life, while quite full of faith, is also quite full of fear. Fear of all kinds of things…

Fear of being seen as a bad mom.

Fear of *being* a bad mom.

Fear of what others will think.

Fear of letting people down.

Fear of how my boys will turn out.

Fear, fear, fear.

And my response to that fear is to fight. To become defensive. To drive myself and others to do better. To do the exact opposite of what love and grace do.

You see, fear drives but love draws.

Love draws us in and opens us up. Love extends grace to those around (even to ourselves). But fear drives… driving everyone in it’s path to perform, perform, perform. And if that performance isn’t perfect, fear continues to drive.

Oh, what a great reminder Emily’s book has been to trust God fully and rely on Him. To lay down my expectations to be all that I think I “ought” to be, or think that others expect of me, and to trust.

I pray He will continue to teach me and mold me. To use days like these to remind me that I am far from perfect and that’s ok. He is perfect and that’s all that matters.

To follow Christ’s example and not worry about what others think, or what impression is being made.

To let go of my fears and fully embrace His peace and love. Oh, what joy awaits us when we do that!





If you’d like to delve into this subject of fear more, my sweet friend Stacey of 29 Lincoln Avenue has just started a great discussion on the book What Women Fear by Angie Smith over at her FB page. It’s open to all and I hope you’ll consider joining her there!



We all have our melt downs at times. Hang in there! Saying a prayer for you as i write.


Enjoyed post. Just today talking to a friend about days you just wish you could go to bed and start again the next. Sometimes by nine am :)


OH, sweet friend….here’s a little secret…we Moms tend to keep to ourselves…we all have those fears. every.single.one.of.us. Ok, maybe just me….but, I do deal with them and I am thankful for sweet friends like you! (I go into hiding, too)

Shelly Miller

Thank you for being honest here, I am sure there isn’t a woman reading this that cannot relate. I have had many of those moments, most of them came when my kids were young and I carried the weight of their lives and mine every day. It gets better, the older they get . . this letting go and just being. I absolutely love the photos of your dog with the chicks, those are framable. What kind of dog is that? He (or she) looks like a stuffed animanl, so cute. My dog passed away recently, its been so sad, but those pictures make me want another one.


Thanks, Shelly!

So sorry to hear about your loss. Our little guy is a toy who-oodle. The lady we bought him from said he was a toy poodle, but he’s grown to big to be just that. So he’s a toy poodle mixed with a who-knows-what. :)

Jamie (@va_grown)

Glad to know I’m not the only one that occasionally hides in the bathroom. Hubby knows if I blow out of the room in frustration he can find me hunched up in our master bathroom a few minutes later. :) Thoughts and prayers…

Erika Dawson

“Fear drives but love draws.”
This is so true but something I have such a hard time remembering. I have struggled with fear all of my life. Over the past few years, God has been transforming that deadening fear into life-giving faith, but it. is. HARD, and I have such a long way to go on the journey.

I have Emily’s book (and Angie’s, too!) on my shelf, waiting to be picked up. I might have to move them up on my list. :)

Sylvia R

Funny how I was just thinking this week about getting to the point of being driven instead of … well, I was thinking “called”, but meant the same as drawn — with my blogging! It was turning into a whole mob of “I’ve gotta’s,” and the pleasure and genuine quality of writing from the heart replaced by forced duty!

Bottom line: I think we all need our time on the bathroom floor! (and to look up to Him from there…) It helped me refresh, even if this time it was the guest room floor!

We weren’t designed to keep going perpetually like the Energizer bunny! God bless! Hope you get the quiet restoration you need!

Amanda Jones

beautifully said

Ms. Kathleen

I think my biggest fear is losing my children before I head to Heaven and also my children not following Christ… I have two prodigals… I lay them daily at the feet of Jesus. And I have his promise that they will return to Him… Have a wonderful Easter holiday.

Laurie Collett

Perfect love casts out all fear…Praise God for His perfect love.
God bless,


Thank you sweet friend for the mention! I am so excited about chatting about this book on Facebook. Love how God is moving already!

And “Grace for the Good Girl” — undid me. End of story. Or rather, only the beginning!

Hazel Moon

Oh this is so common, that old enemy planting lies and accusations (some are true and that causes us pain.) Even today while my children are grown, and my mother gone to heaven, I had some of those memories of times when I was “mean and not loving.” God is so good, he forgives our meanness and loves us anyway. You are a good mother, a good wife, and a good person, and that is just how Jesus sees YOU.

Amy Dotson

I can completely identify with your words and understand the emotion behind them. I love what you said – fear drives, but love draws. I need to spend more time focusing on what drives me, if I am honest, most of the time it is fear of something – usually fear of what people will “think”. From someone who finds herself often caught in the performance trap, I appreciated your post, thanks for reminding me to re-evaluate what is driving me.


Thank you all for your kind comments, prayers, and for letting me know I’m not alone. I appreciate that! Love, Michelle


You are never alone! I think I need to get this book!

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