It’s the heart that matters most to me (this post might be offensive to some)

by SomeGirl on February 24, 2010 · 23 comments

Warning: I let my boys climb on the sofas, pull off the cushions, build forts, ride skateboards around the house, play ball inside, roll in paint, leave their train set out,  go outside without shoes, run at the playground (if no one’s going to be hurt) and I even let them giggle and burp when they have friends over (I told you this might be offensive). So, if you happen to be at McDonald’s when my boys are playing with their friends and I don’t know you’re around, I just might let them giggle and burp at their own table… if you’re there and I don’t know it and it bothers you, please just nicely ask me to stop the boys and I gladly will. But if you start by lecturing me on how RUDE my boys are being and how I “should” and “should not” parent, I will probably just have fun debating you in a calm manner and let you know that you are being just as rude in your actions and words toward me (and my friend) as our boys are being. ‘Cause you see… it’s the heart that matters most to me. I’m not so concerned about the burping, climbing, and giggling but I am concerned about heart issues… and I don’t count burping and giggling as a heart issue. But when I asked my oldest son to calm down and be respectful of others (not at the pressing of the lady at McDonald’s but at my own desire to have my boys be calm and careful around other little ones once the play place got busy) and he bowed his head to ask the Holy Spirit to give him self-control… that’s what I care about! (and I know that’s what he did because he does it often) When I receive compliment after compliment on how sweet my boy is in class or some group and how helpful and caring he is toward others… that I care about (not the praise but the carry over of loving kindness from home to public)… that I care about! But if he burps and giggles in public as all crazy, seven year old boys do… that I don’t care so much about. No matter how much I am lectured and “should-ed all over” by a “perfect mom of 5 kids” at McDonald’s.

Now, I’m not saying that I let them burp and giggle about it all the time or that I don’t teach good manners, but I feel strongly about letting them “be” a little bit with their friends and not hovering over them correcting their every behavior with those friends. If someone’s getting hurt with words or actions I’ll jump right in, but the little things I correct enough when we’re on our own… we all need some down-time and crazy let-loose time with our friends.

So, I’ve vented long enough. Thanks for listening! And let me end by saying, she picked the wrong time of the month to “should” me! (enough said?)

And, with great timing, here is my “Daily Manna from the Net” which just came in:

“My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.  Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;  for they are life to those who find them and health to a man’s whole body.  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.  Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.  Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you.  Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.  Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” Proverbs 4:20-27 NIV

I don’t see anything about burping in those verses. ;)

And, in China it’s good manners to burp at the end of a meal… a compliment to the chef. And you know my family is very Chinese. ;) She didn’t appreciate hearing that! lol

Hope you weren’t too offended. Now I’m off to do something highly inappropriate, like chase my boys around the house, give piggy back rides (which I’m currently doing as I type) and drop them on the couch! Have a GREAT day!

Love,

♥ Michelle (aka SomeGirl)

{ 23 comments }

OM

Beautifully said! Amen!!

Some Girl

Thanks, Michelle! She gave us some great blog material, didn’t she!? ;)

Dawn

That’s what you were talking about yesterday! Burping and other noises go along with having boys. At play, who cares!? If you were in a really nice, crowded restaurant with cloth napkins and a dress code, I’d nix the burping. Otherwise, people need to just mind their own business. As long as they weren’t hurting anyone, overturning chairs or tables, or being otherwise destructive, she had no reason to say a word. I love it when people think they should parent other people’s kids. NOT. Their hearts are so much more important!!

Some Girl

Dawn, You are always very encouraging in the “parenting little boys” realm! :) Thanks!

(check Dawn out at http://www.5kidsandadog.com/)

Dawn

Aww, thank you! :)

Heather

I don’t think I have read something that spoke to me in a long, long time. This did. Amen, amen… we care about their hearts and if our boys come of a little gassy, well, they are boys.

I have three boys and they too use our couch cushions to play fort and my bra as a sling shot, but they are kind and compassionate to others. It is their heart I am most concerned with at this time. I think the manners will come with maturity and a prom date, perhaps.

When Moms start breaking each other down in public that is the saddest point for me. We need to build each other up, even if our mode of parenting is not the same. As my grandmother use to say, if you can’t say anything nice about (burping) don’t say anything at all…

Some Girl

And, Amen, to that, sister! I love the part about manners coming with a prom date and the sling shot bra! lol

Thanks, Heather!

(I look forward to getting to know you more on Twitter and through your blog) :)

Jason

So goooooood!!! Good reminder to me to lighten up and let the kids at the shelter have a little more fun…i have been a rule hound…when they haven’t been hurting anyone or destroying anything…i think i might play freeze tag with them in the hallways tomorrow (with their parent’s permission haha). Thanks Michelle!

Some Girl

Have a GREAT day with those kiddos!

May God give you wisdom in your job and may He give you all that you need to show His love to the people you work with … and may you enjoy the “Wild Elephant Ride.” ;)

LizAnn

I think you priorities are in the right place and your boys will be the ones that grow up and “save the world”
I found your blog by way of Betsy from Zen Mama’s Blog and I am so glad I did
I can’t wait to read more of your posts

LizAnn
http://www.forgirlsanddolls.com

Some Girl

Thanks, LizAnn!

That’s very sweet and encouraging!

It’s great to have you here… I look forward to us getting to know each other more through twitter and our blogs! :)

Love,
Michelle

Cheryl@SomewhatCrunchy

Amen and well said. I’ve seen many children who speak softly with yes ma’ams and no sirs, and because of this superficial respect they are assumed to be kind heated. Yet when they think no one is looking the will lie, steal and curse. It’s the heart that matters. God counts the intention, not just the action.

Some Girl

Ain’t that the truth! Thanks, Cheryl!

John

Thanks for the chuckle. So many people are in a rush to grow old so quickly. It is nice to see that you are holding on to your sense of humor.

Some Girl

I’m glad to see you think I have a sense of humor! ;) lol
I hope your move has gone well.. missed you this week at Once A Week Vegan!

(and thanks for the comment… I love comments!) :)

Rae

I have no idea why this would offend people unless they actually thought that their version of “polite” behavior was the most important thing. And really, who thinks that burping is more serious than self-control?

All that to say, good for you!

Some Girl

Thank you, Rae. Unfortunately this lady at McDonald’s thought her version of “polite” was the most important thing… fortunately there aren’t many people like her out there!

I’m really glad you stopped by! Thanks for the comment!

Love,
Michelle

Michelle

Hey, I got a chance to read your blog for a little while and really enjoyed it! And based on the posts I read and the titles of several others, it seems like we have a lot in common.

I picked the post that I identified with most to leave my comment. I feel the same as you about heart issues being the most important. Sometimes though, I allow outside pressures to speak too loudly. So, thanks for the reminder & encouragement!

Hope I get to meet you at Relevant and look forward to poking around some more here. :)

Some Girl

It’s great to have you here, Michelle! (and thanks for leaving a comment!) :)

Isn’t it great that we have these blogs where we can encourage one another!?

I just took a quick peek at your blog and added it to my favorites! I’m looking forward to reading more and getting to know you better before Relevant!

Love,
Michelle (popular name, hu?) ;)

Lois

Hello Michelle! I really enjoyed meeting you today at Walmart. I enjoyed reading your blog and look forward to reading more.

Hoping the rest of your day was wonderful and I hope Kennedy and I will run into you and your precious boys again at Walmart or Town Talk.

Lois and Kennedy

Some Girl

Hi Lois! What a nice surprise when I logged in and saw your comment… I’m so glad to see you here! It was great to meet you and sweet Kennedy,too! I’ll be looking for you guys when we’re out and I’d love to get to know you better! :) – Michelle

redkathy

Hey I let my boys have a farting contest one time, boy did that stink! They had a blast. A few weeks ago one of the boys’ friends stopped by to visit, he’s 22 now and lives in Norway. He remembered that weekend and the contest. We talked and laughed about all the crazy stuff. You are so right on with what is important, and God is so right on with what we need! Love the manna.

Some Girl

What an encouraging comment from a mom whose been through it! I’d love to have my boys and their friends have fun memories that we can laugh about in the future (when they’re 22). Thank you for the encouragement!

And thanks for stopping by! I’m really glad you were here! – Michelle

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