Do You Struggle With Infertility?

Yesterday I felt nauseous and today I feel munchy, which automatically triggers the thought in my head, “Could this be the time the sickness doesn’t go away and I’m pregnant?!”

That kind of thinking used to happen A LOT. You know what I mean right? Looking for little signs, researching all the symptoms. Waiting… wondering… barely making it through that two week window without taking a test!

Nowadays that kind of thinking doesn’t happen often, but sometimes it creeps in… every once in awhile.

And when it did today, I was reminded of YOU.

Yes, YOU!

You who are trying to conceive and wondering when it will ever happen.

You who have waited so long to have a baby while everyone else gets pregnant.

You who wonder if what you’re feeling now is a sign of early pregnancy, but will soon find out it’s not.

You who thinks you will DIE if you don’t get pregnant.

And you who thinks there’s NO WAY you could make it if you never did.

I remember trying to conceive and hanging out in the Baby Center chat rooms watching girls come and go month after month, while I stayed.

I remember Googling anything and everything to find an answer to why I couldn’t get pregnant and, more importantly, how I could.

And I remember the day that I found a site with a girl’s story and how she had been TTC for 3 years. 3 years! I thought there was NO WAY I could imagine waiting 3 years. And I hoped and prayed that wouldn’t happen to me.

I remember lying on the floor sobbing after my period would come and praying that God would “heal my land.”

But, I’m hear to tell you that I remember those times in a sweet, healed, comforted way. They are times I hold dear to my heart.

And I’m here to tell you that you CAN survive and thrive 3 years after ttc with no positive pregnancy test.

You can even survive and thrive 9 years after.

And more than that, I can say emphatically THERE IS JOY!!!

The road is dark and hard where you are. And you don’t want to believe you will ever be nine years down the road with infertility. But, I tell you, if you find yourself here THERE IS GREAT JOY!!

My tears are gone…. they’ve been wiped away. My weeping has been turned to laughing and my mourning has been turned to dancing.

My GOD brought His touch to my life and has filled me to overflowing!

Yes, there are times when I wonder if I will one day get pregnant, but not often. And not with the clinging, hopeless, grasping thoughts of the past. Just a passing thought. And, in those times – like today – when my cycle starts again, there are no more tears. Just a brief passing thought that wonders if it will ever happen.

I write this to you, so that you may have hope.

Prayerfully God will make a baby in your belly. Prayerfully nine years down the road you’ll be driving that baby to school. But, if it doesn’t happen. I am here to tell you, there is MUCH JOY!!!

And that joy comes from the maker and giver of all good things… GOD!!

I pray YOU will know HIS JOY today!! May He bring His touch to you at this very moment! YOU are GREATLY LOVED!!

Love,

Michelle (aka SomeGirl)

Btw, sometimes He gives us JUST what we want in ways we might not have expected… THERE IS MUCH JOY!!

Our family built by God through adoption.

 

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{ 3 comments }

Rachel

Friend, this is a simply AMAZING post!! I just love your heart and openness about such a painful experience!! Thank you SO much for sharing and linking up!!

Jenny @ The Southern Institute

That is so beautiful, Michelle. I know God is using you to encourage so many women today. Blessings!!!

Cherie

I just love your heart! {{HUGS}}

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