Pushing Sand From One Place to the Other

by SomeGirl on March 13, 2010 · 9 comments

I was in bed all cozy, ready to go to sleep, when the events of the day started running through my head… followed by the words from a comment on yesterday’s Fraddle Friday post:

“This week I have spent quality time with my boys and one day we sat out in the sand box and pushed sand from one place to the other.”

I tried to go to sleep, but just couldn’t until I wrote this post.

You see, today (Friday) I decided to take the whole day off and spend it fraddling. I did a good job at it and stayed off the computer most of the day. I hung out with my husband and boys,  and  later the boys and I hung out with my friend and her boys. We all had a great time, but at the end of the evening I felt strange. It might have been leftover stress from the movie we watched, but it felt more like disappointment. Disappointment that I had been so busy “fraddling” that I didn’t really spend much time with my children… Don’t get me wrong, we all had a GREAT time doing what we did, but I think I had built my expectation for Fraddling Friday up too high. As the sweet reader exemplified in her comment, fraddling isn’t really about big chunks of time spent doing fun things. It’s mostly about the little things, like pushing sand from one place to the other for a little bit or dog-piling Daddy with hugs as he heads out for a trip, picking up lunch for a friend and chatting as you eat together, praying for someone you know needs encouragement, and stopping the car somewhere quiet to listen to/talk about hurt feelings and things your thankful for (which all happened today)… that’s what fraddling is mostly about. The big, fun days are nice and I love them, but the little things are what matters most. I wouldn’t change today (other than maybe watching a more upbeat movie), ;) but I would change my expectations. As my good friend said in her comment yesterday, fraddling happens “a-fraddle-a-day.” So, little-by-little, let’s keep our expectations in check and spend some time “pushing sand from one place to another” with the ones we love.

Love,

♥ Michelle (aka SomeGirl)

P.S. I share this because I’m sure I’m not the only one who sets expectations too high and I don’t want “fraddling” to cause stress and disappointment. Let’s encourage each other to keep it simple (must be my former perfectionist way rearing its ugly head).

P.S.S. I think that movie (The Boys Are Back) got me in a deep, stressed out funk. I feel better now after sleeping. Maybe I need to wait to post things until after sleeping. ;) lol

Remember, I’m a “recovering” perfectionist and I’ve just started on that journey… sometimes I still get stuck trying to make things perfect. But realization is half the battle, right?

photo info: http://www.flickr.com/photos/theloushe/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

{ 9 comments }

John

You are not overanalyzing are you?

Some Girl

Yeah, lol, I have the tendency to do that. I feel better now that I’ve slept. ;) hmm… overanalyzing is probably just another form of perfectionism, isn’t it? Thinking about the past and seeing how you could make it perfect? Do you see a theme in my life? lol (now I’m overanalizing my response to your comment! Aaaagh!) ;)

(btw, have I told you how much it means to me that you read and comment? Thank you!)

Shell

I have to agree with you Michelle, and I’ve already slept on it. I think that there is more than one kind of fraddle though, and the kind I had been expecting/planning wasn’t the kind that happened. I was picturing family fraddle, the boys and I all doing something together. Which wasn’t so much what happened. Instead, there was fraddle for the boys (playing with Z & E which they LOVE) and fraddle for friends (hanging out with you). I think the movie was what really threw the kink into the whole thing. I was hoping it to be encouraging and something we could enjoy discussing after, and instead it was mostly just sad and stressful, and made us feel uncomfortable for the rest of the day. So, no more sad/depressing movies!
Also, I have to say, that it WAS a wonderful day, with the exception of the movie. We love hanging out with you guys too!

Some Girl

Thanks, Shell! (I’m so glad to have you as a friend and fraddle buddy!)

Yeah, you’re right about the different kinds of fraddle… (I’ve got a whole list of them in the sidebar if anyone’s interested). But, I agree about the expectation of Family Fraddle…. I think I forgot that was the goal.

But practice makes progress, right? ♥

And then there was that Darn movie! ;) lol

Some Girl

Hey, I just realized that we have even more funny memories now! Closets, driveway crying, the stressful movie, the frantic clean… I just thought back on some of it and chuckled! :)

Austin

Hi Aunt Michelle! I have a blog now so if you want to see it it is @ http://austinintrasureland.wordpress.com/.

Some Girl

I’m going to check it out ASAP! Glad to see you here, Austin! ♥

Alicia The Snowflake

What a great idea! Lately I have been feeling guilty because I spent so much time preparing for my class lately. So last night we sat down as a family and played games. It was so much fun. You’re right. It isn’t necessarily about the big things. Yes, those are great and our kids love them. But it’s more about the little things. It’s those day to day moments when we give of ourselves to the ones we love. Those are what make life special. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!

Some Girl

Thanks for sharing your heart back!! ♥ – Michelle

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