A Heart to Heart With God

by SomeGirl on August 24, 2011 · 27 comments

Two days after I watched my littlest one cry in fear and struggle for breath in an ER room in San Francisco, I sat on the edge of a river questioning God’s goodness.

In a place and time that “should have” brought awe and worship of The One True God, with my littlest one safely returned to us, I struggled with my understanding of God’s love, mercy and sovereignty.

I sat before the Lord watching my guys play in the river and questioned Him… really questioned Him.

How could He allow bad things to happen?

If He was truly good and all powerful, why would He not stop evil?

How could a loving, caring God let his followers suffer?

The questions went on in an honest, soul searching fashion…

I didn’t find the answers that day to my questions, but as I sat and honestly confessed before the Lord, “I doubt your love.”

I looked down among the bed of rocks where I was sitting…

and saw this.

And this.

And this.

And by the time I was done talking with the Lord I had a good dozen rocks gathered in my pocket to take home as a reminder of the day God and I had a discussion about His love… a heart to heart talk, if you will.

Then walking back up the hill, struggling to find breath as I climbed the steep mountainside I found this.

I’ll confess, the questions continued after that day. And “hearts” in forms other than rocks continue to be found.


Recently, I was driving down the road questioning God a little more.

I stopped and apologized, saying I was so sorry for all the questions.

Then a gentle peace washed over me and I sensed a whisper from God’s thoughts to mine that said, “I don’t mind your questions.”


He doesn’t mind my questions!

Friends, He doesn’t mind YOUR questions either!

His deep abiding love is strong enough to handle our deepest, darkest secrets and fears. He truly cares for us!

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I pray that you and I will know, truly know, how wide and long and high and deep is His love for us and that we will be filled to overflowing with it.

We may still have questions, but it’s much easier to trust Him with the lack of understanding on our part when we know the great riches of unending love on His part.

Something to think about.

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