A Heart to Heart With God

by SomeGirl on August 24, 2011 · 26 comments

Two days after I watched my littlest one cry in fear and struggle for breath in an ER room in San Francisco, I sat on the edge of a river questioning God’s goodness.

In a place and time that “should have” brought awe and worship of The One True God, with my littlest one safely returned to us, I struggled with my understanding of God’s love, mercy and sovereignty.

I sat before the Lord watching my guys play in the river and questioned Him… really questioned Him.

How could He allow bad things to happen?

If He was truly good and all powerful, why would He not stop evil?

How could a loving, caring God let his followers suffer?

The questions went on in an honest, soul searching fashion…

I didn’t find the answers that day to my questions, but as I sat and honestly confessed before the Lord, “I doubt your love.”

I looked down among the bed of rocks where I was sitting…

and saw this.

And this.

And this.

And by the time I was done talking with the Lord I had a good dozen rocks gathered in my pocket to take home as a reminder of the day God and I had a discussion about His love… a heart to heart talk, if you will.

Then walking back up the hill, struggling to find breath as I climbed the steep mountainside I found this.

I’ll confess, the questions continued after that day. And “hearts” in forms other than rocks continue to be found.

 

Recently, I was driving down the road questioning God a little more.

I stopped and apologized, saying I was so sorry for all the questions.

Then a gentle peace washed over me and I sensed a whisper from God’s thoughts to mine that said, “I don’t mind your questions.”

 

He doesn’t mind my questions!

Friends, He doesn’t mind YOUR questions either!

His deep abiding love is strong enough to handle our deepest, darkest secrets and fears. He truly cares for us!

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I pray that you and I will know, truly know, how wide and long and high and deep is His love for us and that we will be filled to overflowing with it.

We may still have questions, but it’s much easier to trust Him with the lack of understanding on our part when we know the great riches of unending love on His part.

Something to think about.



{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

mountain mama

lovely! God rocks…no pun intended :)

Reply

Deb Chitwood

It gave me goose bumps reading about God’s messages of love to you, Michelle! What a powerful testimony. I’ve also often gotten the feeling that God doesn’t mind our questions.

Reply

martha brady

i enjoyed this post michelle:) the day i realized that God could handle my questions was a great day! it shows a lot in job for sure! even when His answers come up as: “where were you when i was flinging the stars in the skiy?” does give us pause, doesn’t it? a good thing!

Reply

Lynn@TickledPinkLife

Lovely post Michelle. It is so incredible that the God of the universe not only hears our doubts, fears and questions, but that he makes himself known in the most personal ways -Placing all those heart-shaped rocks just where his daughter Michelle would find them years later, precisely when she most needed to be reminded of his love for her. Awesome!

Reply

Rebecca

Michelle,

I just wrote a post….yesterday about our hurts.. and you heard him clearly! He can handle our questions, hurts, and pains…our friends and family can not. What a beautiful way for you to seek him…rather than try and suppress those feelings.

Praying for you!

Reply

Starla

I will look for the “hearts” today. And this post is the first one! Thank you.
Today I go with a friend who just found out yesterday she has breast cancer, her name is Amy, if you would say a prayer for her. Today we find out what to expect. I pray God speak hope and love so His Love is seen by being laced all through out her journey.

Reply

Misty

Seems we have had some of the same questions in the past few days. Mine point more to why He would allow tragedy? My God who is all knowing, allow such things as earthquakes, tornadoes, death.. I’ve apologized too. For all of my questions but He reassured me that it’s OK. He also spoke something into the depth of my soul one day as I prayed, spoke and questioned Him heavily. He simply said, “I turn tragedy into victory. My child I will teach you to see.” Gave me peace knowing that in times of hardship and grief, perhaps the real gift is victory. Perhaps its His gentle hand pulling us closer. I find that through our questions we are feed and our eyes see more clearly.

Blessings!
Misty

Reply

Cherie

I just love the way God works. Some would call it coincidence, these heart shaped rocks in your path, but we know better!

Reply

Debbie

This is a beautiful story! God does care even in the midst of tragedy. Those questions are just part of our humanness. I tried to link our story and it shows on the “try here” but not on your main page.
Blessings, Debbie

Reply

Shell

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. This gave me chills…. Even though you’d shared this story with me already…seeing the pictures of your rocks…. Wow. So lovely to see God’s love for us. <3 And you know I've got a thing for God speaking through rocks…. :)

Reply

Pamela

I just love how God shows His care for us. This time in heart rocks. And awesome God! I have so many questions and I’m thankful God will hear them all — and answer those we need. Such a precious story.

Reply

Ingrid

Have you read the book, Heaven is for Real? A must read! In it the dad, a pastor, reaches a point of anger & yells out to God, questioning His goodness. Many month later he learns that in that moment Jesus came to his 4 yr. old son and said, “Your dad asked me to take care of you, so you are coming with me?” (not an exact quote) The little boy then goes to heaven for a time and is with Jesus. Even in our anger and doubts God is there, loving us and answering our prayers. If you haven’t read the book I HIGHLY recommend it. It was a real faith builder for me.

Reply

Irene

God’s wisdom is the best. I am always amazed with the ways God answers such questions. His answers are always thought-provoking and very enlightening. :-)

God bless! :-)

Irene

Reply

Ingrid
Shanda

It is wonderful how God sends us these little messages. I just came in from hiking with a friend and we stopped to take a photo of a heart print on the path that had been left by a shoe. My friend shared how she had found a heart shaped strawberry and I had just picked a heart shaped tomato from my garden. God chooses similar ways to impress his love to all of us.

Reply

Becky @ Our Peaceful Home

Hey sweet friend! This post brought tears to my eyes. Even though I haven’t been battling with exactly the thing you are I find myself doubting God’s love often. Why? I don’t know why. But, it is refreshing to know that he does allow our questions. Perhaps it’s the fact that we can never comprehend all of him and so he knows that we will have questions and things that we won’t understand. I guess it is all part of that REALLY BIG picture that we just can’t see, you know, the stuff only He can see. Blessings friend!

Reply

Mary

I am going to start looking at rocks more closely! Love the way He answers.

Reply

Jana

Oh Michelle – this is so honest and beautiful. I love that God put so many reminders of His love right in your path. He is so good, even when we doubt! I love that He knows we will doubt Him, and loves us anyway.

Reply

Heather

Thanks be to God!

Reply

stef

oh Michelle – how beautiful I can’t help but wanna shout – THAT’S MY GOD !! =)

Reply

aplaceforthoughts

Wow. Beautiful. I love how the one heart rock looks broken yet still together if you know what I mean.

Reply

Sisterlisa

Great thoughts, Michelle!! You inspired me to share my own journey along the same line.. I linked up!

Reply

Patti

Oh I love this. What a gift. Such tenderness to give you such an abundance of reminders, and even portable!

Reply

ali @ an ordinary mom

So powerful, Michelle! I love the way He answered you with all of those hearts!! He is SO good!!

Reply

SomeGirl

Thank you all for taking the time to comment! I’ll try to reply to each one soon! :) Love, Michelle

Reply

Amanda Jones

what a wonderful post! You touched my heart, may God continue to touch yours!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: